March 16 finally arrived, And Brian and I headed down to Mercy Breast Care, hoping to get some answers. Brian had to wait in the car because of the COVID-19 restrictions, and the especially considering the potential vulnerability of the patients that are seen in a breast radiology clinic. When I checked in with the receptionist, I asked the receptionist to verify which doctor I would be seeing…Because of my prior visit there I was hoping it would be Dr. Adnan Qalbani as he was such a comforting and compassionate provider during my past experience with the clinic. I was shocked when she said it would be neither Qalbani (Adnan’s mother is also a breast radiologist)…The senior Qalbani was not working in the clinic (especially since the pandemic began) and Adnan was out of town. She informed me I would be seeing Dr. Jill Veccio, his associate from Denver. So right off the bat, I was a little bit apprehensive with a new face in the mix, but those fears soon vanished as soon as I met her. First stop was the dressing room – to change into my “open in the front” hospital robe , and shortly after I changed, the tech came to get me for my ultrasound. As you can imagine I was nervously chatting with her and just kind of wondering what my reality was going to end up looking like… Of course every time she had measure some thing and click the mouse, I’d like “what was that”? …I remember seeing her put some numbers and measurements on the screen… And she left to get Dr.Jill….After what seemed like a really long time, They came into the room Dr.Jill instantly commented that she liked my cowboy boots…😂 she knew the way to this girl’s “good side”. She then explained that on my screening mammogram, they had seen a lot of calcifications and she was hoping to see that they laid out into a nice pattern instead of “random calcifications” here and there. She couldn’t seem to find any sort of pattern or uniformity in the layout of the calcifications despite having me change my position a few times. If there is a pattern or some sort of uniform appearance to the calcifications, they are more likely to be associated with a benign process (in other words not cancerous). Still, she did not raise the alarms yet…she told me that “sometimes gravity can help, so when we have you on the stereotactic table…” (which is basically what I would describe as a “dangling mammogram”) she continued “and once you’re in that position and sometimes those calcifications will fall into a pattern”. Dr. Jill went to consult with another patient…I went to the next waiting room 😂…The tech was a sweetheart (&also named Jill) & such a joy to visit with. They really know what they’re doing at that place and how to set the patient at ease that’s for sure… So I got up on the stereotactic table… It was quite high up and I love a challenge so I was like nope I got this and I crawled up there without batting an eye…It was basically like an unpadded massage table (very firm and not comfortable… I think I was dehydrated at the time I just couldn’t seem to get comfortable)but once we figured it out, she got my left boob adequately “dropped” through the hole ,got it all compressed & voila! the image of my left breast was up on the monitor. I do remember her looking for the right area and gasping “but you have so many!”…I believe I said “Whelp …I’m an all or nothing type of girl…anything I do , I go big or go home!” We both kind of laughed and Dr.Jill came back in, made sure everything was where it needed to be on the screen , Thshe said unfortunately those are not laying out like I hoped they would, so we’re going to have to proceed with the biopsy. She gave me a lidocaine shot to numb the biopsy area on my outer lower quadrant of my left breast. She was so comforting and did such a great job explaining every little movement she was making, as well as preparing me for what sounds I would be hearing (i.e,” now you’re going to hear a popping noise…like opening a bottle of champagne and that’s just a needle going in”and then she explained I was hearing the biopsy samples being vacuumed back up into the collection port, and then after the news collects three tissue samples, the machine washes out (also called lavage or irrigation) the inside of my breast where the needle was with normal saline…And then they placed a marker “so the surgeon could find it if I needed surgery” …that’s probably when I started to think…uhhhh this is probably not going to end the way that I hoped…I just felt like everything was gonna be fine and really be some diabetes related change that they were seeing in my breast or some other benign process. The tech applied pressure to the biopsy site incision for several minutes and then took a another mammogram image so we could see that the marker was in the right spot etc. I was able to sneak a picture -before I knew it wasn’t allowed…I just had my phone out because I was texting Brian that I was about done and quick snapped a picture of the screen. I still think it’s weird that you’re not allowed to take your own pictures like that but I guess I can see where sometimes information like that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. The tech gave me a little round ice pack to put inside of my bra and I was on my merry way! Now I just had to wait for the doctor to call me with my results in 3 to 4 daysI… was hoping that I would get the results by Friday as this was a Tuesday and I wouldn’t have to go all weekend waiting and wondering. Honestly, I was just ready to get my “good news” and move on. I think that was just me being in denial, because there were several intuitive moments and signs, in retrospect, an apparent attempt to prepare me for what was coming, but like they say, ignorance is bliss!
Illuminating Shadows 